My Story: How I Lost Myself (And Found My Way Back)
Early in 2020, I was near breaking point.
On paper, I had everything. A successful cabinet-making business I’d built over 19 years. A loving partner. Two great sons I’d been present for throughout their childhood. A nice home in a beautiful part of Norfolk.
But I was becoming distant and uncommunicative. Stressed all the time. Reactive to the smallest things. I felt lost and empty inside, and I couldn’t understand why.
The truth was simple but devastating: I had forgotten myself.
Sound familiar?
All Responsibility, No Joy
I started my cabinet-making business in 2002. Having grown up with a difficult childhood myself, I was determined to be a different kind of father – present, attentive, involved. So for nearly two decades, I threw everything into being exactly that.
I worked late hours in my workshop so I could be around during the day for childcare. I gave my family all my time and all my energy. Every decision was about providing security and being there for them.
On the surface, it looked balanced. Work and family, perfectly juggled.
Except for one problem: somewhere in those 19 years, I stopped being a person.
I’d become a function. The provider. The reliable one. The guy who shows up, does the work, keeps everything running.
I stopped hiking. Stopped doing the woodturning I loved. Stopped having anything that was mine. Every hour was either work or family logistics. I had no outlet, no space, nothing that excited me or gave me purpose beyond responsibility.
My relationship with my partner became tense and difficult. We’d gone from lovers to logistics coordinators, managing schedules and solving problems. The stress was crushing me, but I kept a lid on it because I thought that’s what being a good father and provider meant.
All responsibility. No joy.
And the worst part? Despite being physically present, I’m not sure I was doing either thing – work or fatherhood – particularly well. I was spread so thin, so stressed, so disconnected from myself that I was just going through the motions.
The Breaking Point
By early 2020, I was done.
I felt hollow. Disconnected from my own life. I’d overreact to any outside stress because I had nothing left in the tank. I couldn’t understand why I felt this way – after all, I had everything I thought I wanted.
But I’d lost the one thing I needed most: myself.
I had no idea who I was beyond “dad” and “business owner.” I couldn’t remember the last time I’d done something just because it made me feel alive. I was crushed under the weight of responsibility with nothing left for me.
If I’m completely honest, I could see where this was heading. My relationship was suffering. My sons had a present father, but did they really know me as a person? And more importantly – did I know myself?
I felt trapped. But I had no idea how to change it.
The Turn
Then, completely by accident, I came across an advert for a coaching group.
My first reaction was skepticism. Coaching felt like something for corporate types, not craftsmen like me. Self-help stuff that wouldn’t actually change anything.
But something in the approach resonated. It was plain-spoken, no-BS, and practical. The promise wasn’t magic or overnight transformation – it was clarity, structure, direction, and accountability.
I was desperate enough to give it a try.
I signed up feeling very uncertain. It wasn’t cheap, and it meant committing time I wasn’t sure I had. What if it didn’t work? What if I was wasting money we needed? What if I was the problem and nothing could fix it?
But I took the leap anyway.
What Actually Changed
I won’t pretend there was a lightning bolt moment where everything suddenly made sense. There wasn’t.
But week by week, month by month, things started to shift.
I got clear on what actually mattered to me – not what I should want, but what genuinely lit me up. I learned to create boundaries around work without letting people down. I started hiking again, feeling that sense of connection with the outdoors I’d completely lost.
I reconnected with my partner as a person, not just a co-parent and business partner. We started talking again, about things that mattered.
I found activities that were mine. Things I did because they excited me, not because they served someone else’s needs.
The stress didn’t disappear – I still have responsibilities, and I still work hard. But I learned how to manage it. The weight didn’t crush me anymore because I’d rebuilt the foundation underneath it.
I went from all responsibility and no joy to a life that started to feel like mine again.
Over five years, I’ve transformed from that disconnected, drowning version of myself to someone who has clarity, purpose, and calm. My relationships are stronger. My marriage is deeper. My sons know me as a person, not just as “dad.”
And I know myself again.
Why I’m Telling You This
Here’s the thing: I’m not standing on a mountaintop pretending I’ve figured it all out.
I’m still on this journey. I still have difficult days. I still have to work at maintaining balance.
But I’ve experienced what’s possible when you have the right support, structure, and accountability. When you stop trying to figure it all out alone and instead work alongside others who understand what you’re going through.
For five years, I’ve been part of a coaching community that changed my life. And I kept thinking about all the men like me – skilled, hardworking, decent guys who are drowning in responsibility and can’t remember the last time they felt truly alive.
Men who are becoming ghosts in their own families while trying to be good fathers.
Men who are successful on paper but empty inside.
Men who don’t need another productivity app or self-help book – they need real support, accountability, and a roadmap from someone who’s been there.
That’s why I’m building something new.
What I’m Creating
I’m putting together a coaching program specifically for men who want their lives back but don’t know where to start. Men who are willing to do the work but need the structure and community to make it stick.
It combines the practical frameworks I’ve learned with something I’m passionate about: using outdoor experiences as a tool for clarity and reconnection. Not as an escape from life, but as a way back into it.
I’m not claiming to be a guru or expert. I’m a guy a that’s few steps ahead on the path, turning around to help others navigate the same terrain I’ve walked.
I know what it’s like to feel lost in your own life.
I know what it’s like to have everything but feel empty.
I know what it’s like to wonder if this is just how it is now.
And I know what it’s like to find your way back.
If This Resonates
Maybe you’re reading this and seeing yourself in my story.
Maybe you’re feeling that same disconnect, that sense of going through the motions while life passes you by.
Maybe you’re worried about what happens if nothing changes – you’ll wake up in five or ten years and realize you’ve missed everything that actually matters.
Or maybe you’re just tired. Tired of being the reliable one with nothing left for yourself. Tired of being all responsibility and no joy.
If any of this hits home, I’d love to talk.
I’m putting together a beta group to test my program – a 12-week journey to help men reclaim themselves without blowing up the lives they’ve built. It’s for guys who are serious about change and willing to do the work.
You can have the clarity, the purpose, and the calm I’ve found.
You can be present with your family AND present with yourself.
You can feel like your life is actually yours again.
But you have to decide to start.
The question is: are you ready?
Next Steps:
Follow this page and check back in soon. I’ll be putting up an outline of the program I’ve put together and looking to fill up to ten places for a Beta test.
I’m not promising easy. I’m not promising fast.
But I am promising real. And if you’re willing to show up and do the work, I’ll walk this path with you.
Let’s reclaim your life now.
Mark.